The slutty side in me

I have this wild side in me, once in a while it comes out still... I used to be a wild child.. i loved to party and have fun And i used to do whom ever i felt like doing ;-) even though some considered me a slut for doing so.
I didn't care back then how some people thought of me for following my lust, my urges ... my sexuality.


I still get that need, the need to party drink and have lots of fun even though i just turned 40.
And right now i have that urge.. and its very dominant in me.


So here i am 40 years old .. most people think im younger because of the way i look and the way i act (my personality) And i really really feel like going out and being a slut. And im talking about REALLY being a slut...
I want dirty steaming hard sex with men i feel attracted to, young, old, fat and thin... I dont really care as long as I feel there is sexual tension between me and him.


I started out calmly with my friends younger brother.. i thought i might do him again, but im not really sure, im not gonna seek it out but it might happen again at a random meeting or it might not.
Somehow there is something stopping me form doing what i really want .. is it because i have become a grown up ? so my moral tells me an "old" lady like me cant do that anymore or is it because im actually picky ? I cant quite figure it out.. maybe its both .. 
And i have to say .. it annoys me because I really really need to go out a be a slut, but something is stopping me.
Im going out this weekend, and my goal is to fuck some one hard and good for a night. 
But lets see if i can do it 
The urge is there .. and its in my brain everyday.


I will get back to you after the weekend ;-)